Ten Tips for a Successful Summer
Can you believe summer is just around the corner? The last day of school signals longer days, more laundry, ravenous kids, sibling spats, upside-down schedules, and the dreaded chorus, “Mooooom, I’m bored!”Seasonal transitions are surprisingly hard for many children who have experienced trauma. This can leave caregivers feeling all the emotions: anxiety, stress, sadness, and sometimes despair.
But don’t let summer break stress you out yet! A few adjustments and clear, actionable steps can make the end-of-the-school-year transition a little easier and help the whole family to enjoy the lazy days of summer.
1) Recognize the transition summer brings. Summer is a major life transition for a child. Saying goodbye to teachers and friends may trigger previous losses, memories of earlier school years or summers, and the uncertainty of whether the child will return to his or her school in the fall.
2) See the need behind the behavior. Put on your detective hat and try to identify what your child’s behavior is really saying. Does a lack of daily structure make her wonder what is going to happen next? Is he hungry, tired, or dehydrated? Behavior communicates what a child is unable to put into words. Remember, for kids from hard places, “sad” sometimes looks like “mad.”
3) Stick to a schedule. Whether your kids are home all day with you, in summer camps, or staying with a sitter, create a loose “template” for each day. Even if bed and wake-up times are later, keep routines and daily rituals as much as possible. A visual calendar on a dry-erase board can help older children know what is expected of them each day.
A sample schedule may look like this: breakfast, household chores, outdoor activity or outing, lunch, academic activity, free-time, outside play, dinner, bath, reading, bedtime.
4) Don’t do too much. There’s so much FUN happening in the summer—camps, clubs, activities, no worry about getting to school on time, and gorgeous weather! Remember to schedule downtime for rest, play, and exploration. Too much activity can overload a child and create stress for the whole family.
5) Build connection. Summer provides many opportunities to connect with your child. Playing in a pool (jumping, catching, sliding!), swinging, cooking together on a rainy day, and working puzzles all allow you to be present and having fun with your child.
6) Allow choices. Giving voice to our kids from hard places helps them to have appropriate amounts of control over their daily lives. Choices help children practice and learn good decision-making skills. When offering choices, make sure there is no right or wrong choice and that both are options caregiver and child can be happy with (e.g., “Would you like to go to the pool or the library today?” or “Do you want hamburgers or spaghetti for dinner?”).
7) Empower through snacks and hydration. Children’s needs, such as hunger or thirst, are often masked with misbehavior. Create a list of healthy snacks (with your child’s help) to have on hand at all times. Be sure your child eats a snack every two hours and carries a water bottle with them.
8) Consider sensory needs. Alternate active periods with quiet periods throughout the day. A sensory activity like swimming, swinging, or jumping on a trampoline can be followed by coloring, reading, or naptime.
9) Provide a transition between activities. Help prevent tantrums and promote self-regulation when kids need to move from one activity to another. Give your child a warning of a change in activities at 30 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and 5 minutes.
10) Give grace—to your child and yourself. Know that the house won’t be perfect and dinner may be hot-dogs on some nights. Your child will likely have a few (or many!) hard days, and you probably will, too. Don’t forget to apply these tips to yourself. Sleep, eat meals and snacks, drink water, and take breaks. If all else fails, order pizza and know that tomorrow is a new day and summer doesn’t last forever!