Five Ways to Help Children Feel Belonging This Holiday Season.
The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” For many foster and adoptive families, however, this season can carry mixed emotions. While the rest of the world gears up for cozy traditions and picture-perfect gatherings, children who have walked through loss and instability may find this season difficult.
While we can’t erase a child’s past, we can create moments of safety and belonging in the present. Here are five ways to help foster or adoptive children feel secure and included this season:
Prepare Them for What’s Coming
The unknown is often scarier than the event itself. Take time to talk through what to expect during the holidays—where you’ll go, who will be there, and what will happen. A simple visual calendar can help younger children anticipate transitions and feel more in control.
Honor Their Story
Ask your child about their favorite memories or traditions. Maybe they made tamales with Grandma, watched a certain movie, or didn’t celebrate at all. Incorporate a small part of their past into your family’s traditions. This tells them, “Your story matters here.”
Keep Routines Steady
Late nights, big crowds, and endless events can overwhelm even adults. Keep a few routines consistent—like bedtime, dinner, or family devotions. Predictability builds trust.
Make Room for All Emotions
Some children may grieve during Christmas. Tears might flow even amid laughter. That’s okay. Don’t rush them toward happiness: just offer presence. As Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Create Connection, Not Perfection
Your home doesn’t need to look like a Christmas card. Focus less on decorations and more on moments: baking cookies together, taking a walk, reading Luke 2. The goal isn’t to recreate a perfect memory, but to offer the security of being loved right where they are.
When we shift our focus from creating “holiday magic” to offering steady love and belonging, we model the heart of Emmanuel, God with us. And for a child who has known loss or loneliness, “with-ness” is the greatest gift of all.
Connect with Orphan Care Alliance by calling (502) 498.4765 or via email info@orphancarealliance.org